Chapter 2

I'm Katie, and I live in Portland, OR. This is my personal blog.

Favorite photos from my favorite week.

11:54 pm

It’s one of those nights. I got in bed with the lights off an hour ago, and while my eyes are heavy and my brain is reminding me every three minutes I have to work in the morning, I can. not. sleep.
Now I’m convinced there is something keeping me up. Am I hungry? Is my alarm set? Am I pregnant? Do I need to start confronting that emotional issue I’ve been suppressing for a good two months?
Like always (it seems) there are lots of changes on my horizon. But I’m really excited about all of them, about the prospect of some new chapters, reflection, re-organizing. Those types if things. So why am I stressed and awake and restless?..!
There’s lots I want to write about, but most of it I don’t want to confront, or utter aloud (or write?). Most of these things don’t truly matter to my “overall” but are the things that roam my thoughts often through out the day. Which makes me think they might matter to my “overall”. Which scares me.

I don’t feel any closer to sleep, which was the whole point if this. Sorry none of it makes sense!

Good grief. Goodnight.

Ya girl finally got bumped up to working 40 hrs a week after working 20 for the last 7months. Having to have my mom help me with bills, stressing my self to tears multiple times a month because I literally had no money and my credit card was over it’s already high limit. It’s all over. I’m already feeling exhausted because I’ve started the routine of working 9+ hours a day for 5 days a week (which I know is normal it’s just not what I’m used to) but it’s going to be so so good. It’ll help in my recent endeavor of trying to stay sober, and I can actually go out and do things like get my car washed. Yay for the little achievements in life and feeling like things are headed in the right direction finally:)

Ya girl finally got bumped up to working 40 hrs a week after working 20 for the last 7months. Having to have my mom help me with bills, stressing my self to tears multiple times a month because I literally had no money and my credit card was over it’s already high limit. It’s all over. I’m already feeling exhausted because I’ve started the routine of working 9+ hours a day for 5 days a week (which I know is normal it’s just not what I’m used to) but it’s going to be so so good. It’ll help in my recent endeavor of trying to stay sober, and I can actually go out and do things like get my car washed. Yay for the little achievements in life and feeling like things are headed in the right direction finally:)

1 month ago

The ladies in black. I heart Sharon.

The ladies in black. I heart Sharon.

1 month ago

Tumblr is where you’re allowed to post the embarrassing “crying, in a bath towel, feeling like the shittiest person alive” pictures right? 
My head hurts and my heart hurts.

Tumblr is where you’re allowed to post the embarrassing “crying, in a bath towel, feeling like the shittiest person alive” pictures right? 
My head hurts and my heart hurts.

2 months ago

august

•manage my money wisely and effectively
•go to one place in oregon I haven’t
•document my trip to Boise better than I have done my trips in the past.
•loosen my grip/realize I do not have control over situations or people
•camp and/or stay in a yert(yurt?) at the beach
•go back to being a redhead-blonde you’ve been fun but I’m ready to be myself again
•use my camera at least 3 times
•enjoy seeing jenny lewis and brand new in concert (that’s a given.. I just wanted to brag a little)

I’m seriously shocked that it is already august. The last week of the month will mark one year in portland for me. I’m ready to make the next few weeks good ones, to truly enjoy the rest of my summer by setting myself up for less stress and more fun.

The last few days have me missing Arizona, but in a totally different way than I have. Coming up on one year away from home makes me realize that my attachment to Prescott and the people in it has been sort of abruptly removed in my head. I always think about home but only now see that home doesn’t think about me. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but everything moves on. And here I am in my own place that I’ve made my new life. It’s a good feeling but one that also brings sadness, because I’ll never have those times back. It’s a strange nostalgia I’ve never felt before and am obviously having a hard time putting into words. But I am sort of having the time of my life, regardless of missing my parents constantly and wishing I could spend my time with Connor.  I think for the first time ever portland really does feel like home, my place, not somewhere I am temporarily until I go back.

The last few days have me missing Arizona, but in a totally different way than I have. Coming up on one year away from home makes me realize that my attachment to Prescott and the people in it has been sort of abruptly removed in my head. I always think about home but only now see that home doesn’t think about me. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but everything moves on. And here I am in my own place that I’ve made my new life. It’s a good feeling but one that also brings sadness, because I’ll never have those times back. It’s a strange nostalgia I’ve never felt before and am obviously having a hard time putting into words. But I am sort of having the time of my life, regardless of missing my parents constantly and wishing I could spend my time with Connor. I think for the first time ever portland really does feel like home, my place, not somewhere I am temporarily until I go back.

3 months ago